Smell the Roses

Posted by on May 9, 2016 in Blog | Leave a comment

I wake up with my face resting on the window ledge. Nose facing out. The fragrance hits me first. A pungent aroma of wild roses and the sweet smell of Hawthorn. Cat I call Tiny Tubby is curled up under my arm and Kiwi, the orange tabby is on the next pillow. Griffin, the boy Wolfhound is on the sheepskin rug by my bed and Fenwick, Wolfhound number two, is a few feet away. Two stray cats look up at my bedroom window anticipating breakfast. Stella, the black cat from up the hill will be here in a minute.

It is 5am and I can see the sun beginning to rise from behind Mount Baker. Mount Baker is my mountain. I call it that because it is the center of every room in my house. I walk in the front door and there it is. Unique everyday. Sometimes pink, sometimes blue, other times shrouded by mist.

I get up and make tea. Sun is streaming in the windows and I feel warm.

I think, write, plan, putter, sit.

I moved to Boulder Colorado in July of 2003. Newly divorced and needing a new start. Packed up a U-Haul with my 3 kids, dog, 3 cats and our stuff. Headed east. I thought I should try being a small fish in the big pond. Thought I would be happy. Thought I would find success. I hit the continental divide and cried all the way to Boulder. I didn’t stop crying until mid September. Regret, worry and hesitation hit me hard. I walked into my new suburban rental and immediately wondered how I could get back to my island. This did not feel like home. I felt completely alone surrounded by so many people. Kids were small and registered in a new Colorado school. House in Friday Harbor was rented. Nope, I was stuck. I worked my art business and taught thousands of people how to paint. I got married and divorced. I finished an art degree at a Buddhist University and I learned how to meditate. I met some wonderful people and I never stopped missing my island.

I daydreamed about the magic of the San Juan’s. The intoxicating smells, the colors, the drizzle and cloudy days. I dreamed about this feminine place that nurtures and embraces me. This place where friendships flourish and lovers are born. I felt as if the island wanted me too. A pull. I began a vision to get back to my home. Back to my people. Back to my tribe and my flowers, owls, eagles, quail, rabbits, foxes, little birds, deer, trees, beaches and my mountain.

July 1st 2015 I landed, full time, both feet. I am back.

And here I am, smelling the roses.

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